Local Man KIlled By Police For Looking At The Moon

Philadelphia, PA-- When Mr. Eddie Spaghetti went for a walk last night, he had no idea he was about to executed by the local police. The middle-aged man took a evening stroll to admire the crescent moon, completely unaware he was strolling towards his doom. The police shot the poor man over 5000 times for being 'weird'. Mr. Spaghetti's troubles began when he was spotted walking outside by his neighbor--Miss Vicky Smegma. "Well, it just seemed strange to me. He wasn't talking on a cell phone or taking a selfie or anything like that. So I called the police, like any normal person." said the elderly virgin spinster. When the policmen arrived they found Mr. Spaghetti admiring the moon in the pale November twilight. The two officers immediately opened fire with their machine guns, instantly killing Mr. Spaghetti. "What sort of weirdo walks around by himself to look at the moon!" laughed one of the officers. "Especially when the Kardashians are on television." When Miss Smegma heard about the death, she cackled with delight. "The world is better off now!" giggled Miss Smegma. The Kardashians were on television and Miss Smegma was frantically masturbating as she watched the famous clan. "Why can't people just act normal these days!"